That’s Incredible!

I will pull an airplane with my teeth
and I will pull an airplane with my hair.
I write about cats. Cats, when you read this,
write about me. Be the change you want to see.

I’ ve legally changed my name to Whites Only.
Changed it back, I should say.
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME made me
the man I am today.

That, and the University of  Phoenix.
Old man, take a look at my life.
Charles Simic, in the gloaming, with a roach,
take a look at my life. I’ m a lot like you.

A man stands up and says I will catch
a bullet in my teeth! That’ s incredible!
He eats a sword, hilt first, and spits
up a million people persons.

A dolphin pulls an airplane with its blowhole
and keeps the black box for itself.
Bottleneck dolphins don’ t even have bones,
yet here we are, giving them medals...

This is my ass. And that is a hole
in ground zero. I know which is which.
It’ s the one with the smoke pouring out.
This is my handle; this is my spout.