The strings, as if they knew
the lovers are about to meet, begin
to soar, and when he marches in the door
they soar some more — half ecstasy, half pain,
the musical equivalent of rain —
while children who have grown up with one stare
steal further looks across a crowded room,
as goners tend to do.
My father loved it too,
warned me at dinner that he’ d be a wreck
long before the final trio came
(Ja, ja, she sighed, and gave him up forever);
he found his Sophie better late than never
and took the fifth about his silent tears
but like him I’ m a softie, with a massive
gift for feeling blue.
I went with others, threw
bouquets and caution to the whirling wind,
believing that the rhapsody on stage
would waft its wonders up to our cheap seats;
but mirrors can be beautiful fierce cheats,
delusions of an over-smitten mind;
I relished trouser roles until I had
no petals left to strew.
Up, down the avenue
I wandered like a ghost, I wondered why
a miracle is always a mirage,
then plodded home and set back all the clocks,
spent hard-won funds installing strong new locks,
telling myself if violence like this
could never sound like violins, I would
to art, not life, be true.
And I am trying to
fathom the way I got from there to here,
the joy that snuck up when I’ d sworn off joy:
we’ ve made a sterling start, we’ ve got a plan
to watch it on your satin couch downtown
and I’ ll be there upon the stroke of eight,
bearing in my trembling ungloved hand
a silver rose for you.